Kejam kan aku...

@ the moment I feel so rotten! So very ungrateful! Just now my sis sms me telling my dad @ Jln Bandar. Obviously he being there has something to do with the accident. He must be there to collect those documents. He went there by BUS! I cant imagine and everytime I tried to, I felt like hell!

The thing is, last week during weekend, I ask him bout my car, when will it be ready. He said he was waiting for docs from police. OK la. Aku pon bukan nak kete cepat sgt just nak tanya. OK I admit memang aku agak xsabar coz Kancil tu memang menyakitkan, but I can deal with it. Sumpah! I don’t mind at all….

So, when I heard that Ba went to KL by bus just to get the documents, I’m sooo devastated. I felt like ungrateful child! atau adakah after derma darah kita akan rase lebih emosional?? Maybe, maybe not. So I sms Ba (SMS jek…???chicken!);

‘Ba, awat xbagitau nak p situ. Manja leh pi amek sendiri kalo ba bgtau.’

He replied;

‘ta apa la’ sms my Dad memang simple jek..hehe

‘Ba mai dengan apa?balik bila?’ lagi mau tanya naek apa kan?konon berlakon innocent la tu…tak gune nyer anak.

‘Ba nak balik dah. Awat?’

‘Tak dak la. Rase guilty sebab Ba yang kena mai amek. Igt insurans settlekan semua tu..huhuhu’

Banyak lagi aku nak cakap…But I just couldn’t say it. Dada ni dah rase berat dah… serious I felt like shit! Tu la masalah aku kalo dengan family. I couldn’t ckp what’s in my head, apetah lagi in my heart. Sbb aku sgt emotional! Nanti aku menangis jek. Aku xsuke menangis depan org! I just couldn’t! Malu dowh!

Then, my Dad replied;

‘Ta apa. Ba besarkan Manja lagi susah. Take care.’




......Air mata aku laju je keluar time tu gak. Kt café. In front of my colleagues. Malu?? No, I’m glad!! So damn proud of my Dad! I even told my colleagues bout it… Dorg terdiam…

‘Bagus ayah ko kan…..’ Kak Linda said slowly.

Akak, u hev no idea….. He never said he loves me. He never hugs me anymore since dah besar panjang. But everything he did, somehow, I can see his love for me. Dr dia la aku paham expression ‘Actions speak louder than words’. Dr dia la aku belajar untuk berdikari and selok belok kehidupan. Xpernah putus dr pesanan and teguran… mati hidup balik pon I will never find a person who is as patient and as strong as he is!

And sememangnya…I don’t deserve him…..