Minggu yg Blur

*sigh....

too many things hepen dis week n left me totally blurred. it started with the shocking news of my friend's untimely death on Monday...eh..xleh cakap untimely coz dah mmg ajal...maybe bcoz i know he had so many plans and things to do. well...what's meant to be is meant to be. Semoga arwah ditempatkan di kalangan org yg beriman. as for me, no Tioman dis year n no more 'Somethin' Stupid' with him. truth be told, i'll miss his forthright and frank ways. i'll never forget those sound advices he gave me and the times when he was there to support me.m soooo sorry i never got the chance to tell him what he had been askin' for quite sometimes. but, it's immaterial now. rest in peace bro!

Tuesday sempat la berehat jap. then Wednesday, my bro told me Ba admitted. kt Pantai Bangsar. so i took half day off. ponteng jek meeting on CLG. biar la dato',datin,prof,dr tu sume wat keje sendiri. even the scrumptious lunch that was provided pon aku biarkan jek.

DarkSky pon half day. we went to the hospital and were scanned for fever. after was cleared from the threat of swine flu, we were given a sticker. aku rase mcm ayam daging diskaun time jcard day.warne purple so 50%. sape nak????

My dad OK thank god. cume BP ada sikiiiiit naek. the next day the doc will conduct the pressure test. so lepak la smpai malam. tp bukan lepak kt bilik, lepak kt startbuck....adoyaiiii....kopak la aku. dah la gaji xmasuk2 lg.

then memandangkan Ba ok jek n ramai yg datang, Darksky fetched me n we went to the movie. Transformers baiii..pas movie trus blk. xkuasa aku nak melepak2.xde mood.letih.ditambah lak ngn ratusan manusia n ada yg berperangai mcm bagus n memanaskan ati seolah2 ada batu api.

Thursday after work,went to Jusco Equine. beli baju for Ba as Doc wont release him. so bought him 2 t-shirts, track bottom, socks etc... baju tu cun what...can be considered as baju raya la ek Ba..hehe... Fri day baru boleh. aku syak tektik Doc je ni tau. tp xpe la.So pegi la Spital. this time alone. Darksky pulang utk meneruskan dengkurannya. pas scan for swine flu again, aku xtrus naek bilik,aku usha Starbuck. Saheh! mmg kt sana. Aci,Om n Ba. aku pon teringin sakit cmni.

Today time lunch i called Ucik. Doc wont release my dad lg. Sugar level lak naek. byk songeh lak doc ni.saje nak tahan. dah 4 hari dah kt Pantai.bil usah cite. 4 pressure test pon mau 2k.ditambah lg ngn 3 hari melantak kt Starbuck. kesian la kt sy doc...sugar sy pon naek da minum ice blended jek hari2...huhu

SO after work today, xle la sesi lepak2...shoot trus ke spital stabaq pantai.


so aku blurrrrrr.......sok nak p melaka pon xde mood. sesi shoppin2 with sista2 pon put on hold lu until Ba is released.

Macam2...

"tangkap Cipan tu!" aku pon braced myself and posed ala2 seorg Matador. mane tah asal usul sekor anak cipan ni. tibe2 je sesat masuk umah. kalo ular masuk, tandanya kite n umah tu xkekal lama,xpon tu jin noti yusry. kalo rama2, nak kene pinang ler anak dara dlm umah tu. alahai,mase aku kecik2 dulu, rama2 masuk mulut,sampai skang aku xkawen2. ke tu kupu2 yg aku ngap??? whatever la. so cipan tu....tetbe die pusing ke arah aku berlari2 anak cipan smbil tersenyum (i swear it did). aku terkesima melihat senyumannya n froze...menanti impact yg pasti menyakitkan...

GEDEGANGGGG!!!!

my whole body jerked!i felt like falling slowly,endlessly....then mate aku terbukak...ok. mcm bagus nyer mimpi...but the sound was real i think...aku mengintai dr tingkap. OK, Tumblebug aku safe n sound asleep kt depan umah..my housemate's ride also selamat kt porch. mesti kt lorong sebelah rumah. teringat aku kt kazen Monggol aku yg pernah mencalarkan body solid Tumblebug yg di parked kt lorong gelap itu. siot jek ko kazen. macam la xmuat tho ade kete or SUV parked at the side. CRV lalu pon lepas jek. bukan takat tu, van oren sekolah pon leh lepas...mcm la neo ko tu besar Hummer...naseb ko jiwa kaco time tu...hehehe.

so that's how my day started out yesterday. Startled n stunned. bunyik lori pikap hon2 smbil jual tilam or "old newspaper" aku dah immune.

then bile tgk Melodi baru tingat it was Father's Day! dah la ati tgh sedih sebab WW3 nearly started coz i dunno how to accept no for an answer... so ati ni trus sayu tingatkan Ba..


"Happy Father's Day Ba! u r the best father i cud hev hoped 4!love u!"

that was my sms to Ba. mane penah aku ckp ala2 cmtu ngn Ba. malu ler. Time induction kt IKHWAS, en. Joe, our faci for that day bg 1 ceramah yg sgt menginsafkan (sekejap). Dunno samada aku penah cite kt sini or not but i'll tell again anyway. he asked;

"pernah x kamu tanpa sebab khusus, cium n pelok ibu n ayah kamu and cakap Terima Kasih? selain Hari Raya tu sume.tak? kenapa? malu?segan??. tetapi pada pasangan kamu, kamu ucapkan Terima Kasih Sayang hanya di atas pemberian sekuntum bunga ros merah, padahal bunga itu akan layu pada keesokan harinya, sedangkan pemberian ibu n ayah xpernah layu dimamah masa"

wahhhh makan dalam tu baiii! pedihnya hingga menikam kalbu...bisanya...so time tu banyak la kedengaran bunyi batuk2 cover. then biler berkumandang lagu Ayah dan Ibu bersama video cesarean delivery, time tu trus srooottt! srooottt! kiri kanan depan blakang. yg laki cover macho...pigi daaa.

So that day, Ba replied;

"tq for that"

hehe...Ba being Ba, it was more than enough 4 me. ye la..selalu juz Tq or OK. this time 3 words. n my day was simply beautiful. tambah2 WW3 pon xjadi, ye la...sejuk jek perot nibile nampak rupa...cmne nak marah...hehehe. cian...tgh2 hari remang, peloh2, datang gak memujuk.....that tiny weeny miny white flower ada lg i simpan tau!

.......tp aku xucap tenkiu pon.hahahaha. well u did say to me,

"tak semua bende perlu diucap dgn kata2....."

Findin' n Keepin' a Life Partner (susah sgt ke?)

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.


QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.


QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.


QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right'.

So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually amaterialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.


QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and selfâ€' absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

-How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc..
-How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones dont appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and
caring words or annotations.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10.CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will
replace.

Run Cipan Run

Been a while... so many things happened and i really hev no idea where to start. so better i just kept it inside. hehe. yg penting i need to improve my stamina. 2.4km in 16 minutes??? not acceptable at all.. i know i can do better if only i didnt fell victim to that ol' trick employed by those ppl @ Ikhwas. cmne nak lari kalo pewot penuh ngn air?? bodus!!! afer dat we were forced to star jump, squad jump, frog leap, push up, sit up...zapin and poco2 xketinggalan. it was tiring, waking up at the crack of dawn and do those physical actvties. but in the end, it was fun actually..hehe... cant wait for the next seminars and activties.

now at my new office. n yg penting, my place is much bigger than that high and mighty 'Kongkiak' my EX-Boss..hahaha...aku suke dowh!