Chillis - Bon Appetit

Had a blast last nite @ Chillis Midvalley. As expected it was way pricey than our usual hang out places like BAI and Rishad… hehe apa punya comparison la. Got a good, strategic table after waiting for like 30 seconds. Sat down and looked at the menus. And I’m told the right way to scan the menu by Cipan Oren;

1: One hand is to flip the menu
2: The other is used to close the dishes’ name so that we can concentrate on the price instead
3: Scan the menu for the most delicious (affordable) price
4: Make your selection based on the most attractive price and then only look at the selected dish’s name
5: Call up the waiter and order after making sure your hands are in the natural position. That is to avoid from looking like a stingy Uncle Scrooge

Huhu… It comes in handy if you got only Rm5 to pay for the meal (including parking fee)! Salute to cipan Oren and his technic of evading from footing up the bill! You guys don't even have to pretend to go to toilet then sneak out of the restaurant if you follow his outrageous, devious plan hehe.

The Eating Champion went to Cipan Buntal and Cipan Oren! They effortlessly managed to swallow down their Medium-done Lamb Steak and Well-done Beef Steak respectively, and still able to cilok mine and Cipan Parit's Fries, Corn and Fajitas. Sungguh luar biasa kemampuan mereka menyusun makan2 tersebut di dalam perut2 elastic mereka. Hats off to them!

Cipan Parit makan:

Cipan Ori mencuba:

Cipan Buntal and Cipan Oren membedal:

NOTE: If you order a steak and the waiter ask whether you want it to be medium rare or well done, bukannya die merujuk kepada saiz steak tersebut... Ades! Pedasnya makan Chillis! Hahaha

Help!

Very gloomy eh today…seems like the nature knows what I’m feeling thus commiserating with me... very touching…

Been a hectic day so far. As expected, when my exec is away from office, there bound to be issues. This time, material for transmission got line tearing. A perfectionist like AFC won’t accept anything less than perfecto so got to inform them and bear the rage and the curse from Mr. Singa Singapore. Huhu.. What a rotten luck. There was one time, my sweet-pretty exec was brainwashed by this Singa Singapore. He even said that F-word to her… shouting so loud into the phone till me also heard his ranting and raving. Mau xmenangis awek tu… very rude la these fellas from that macam bagus, American and Israelies proxy country. Kang suruh todak langgar lagi sekali kang....Haa...Baru ada akai kot!
Haih….dah la tengah down… works abundant, issues unsolved, shorthanded, arrghhhh… slave-drivers!!!! Now I feel good 'bout those people this company fired starting last Friday… oh yes... people are getting fired because of the recession and it started last Friday… I was hoping to quit but now I’m trapped here till further news form SPA... what a double-rotten luck!!!! HELP!!!!!!!

P’s : Jom makan Chillis… a good meal is what I need to forget my probs for a while..

How Does It Feel Like...?

How does it feel like?

To know that you don’t get what u want coz of a stupid mistake, that can be avoided if you don’t procrastinate and listen to your father’s words of wisdom which he started bestowing you with ever since you can understand human language?

To know that you failed everybody that matters the most?

To be yelled at when you are trying to get some empathy, compassion and understanding from someone you care about in times of need and desperation for some kind of human connection?

I bid most welcome to the most pathetic day of my life!

Just Another Day After All...

Going thru a tough time…alone, sola, akele, sendirian…. Nothing new, so why should I be sad? What to be sad about? Life is meant to be lived on your own. Just another phase of my life, another ordinary day. Nothing bizarre or out of place. Should’ve get used to it already. When everything promised to be wonderful, it’ll turn out to be just the opposite. Just an illusion, make me crave for the sweetness of it, dreaming away how things will change for the better, then snap me out of it. Laughing cruelly at my face and leaving me dumbfounded, wondering how could I fell for that trick again. Oh yeah... Life loves to play tricks on me… I should keep on telling myself times and again so I'd believe it myself that what fails to kill me, makes me stronger! Maybe should I just hope that life gives up on me instead? Perhaps then only I will be free…

Track of Tears

People say I'm the life of the party
Cause I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
Just look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
I need you, need you

Outside, I’m masquerading
Inside, my hope is fading
Just a clown, oh yeah since you put me down
My smile is my make-up I wear since my break-up with you

The vid I post this morning…. I love the melody and the lyric. It was brilliant motown music by songwriter Smokey Robinson.

Track of tears... Sad isn’t it? Sometimes people cried silently, inside, only tracks of tears are visible to those who truly care to look closely. If they cried so many times and still nothing change, the hopes faded coz there’s nothing true and solid to hang on to; they’ll finally just slip away from everything…into the oblivion, the nothingness, the emptiness and everything that stands for sad solitude.

Huwaa…kenapakah aku blue?!

Hari Yang Malang Untuk Cipan Yang Malang...

Yeah...and it's me

Past couple of days had been frenzied. On Wednesday, I came home as fast as I could with the jam and so forth, mencilok di sana, meredah air hujan yang bertakung di sini and I made it home just in time to start my daily jog routine. Parked at my usual spot, killed the engine, looked at the empty seat beside me then like a lightning I saw on my way back, a thought hit me, ‘macam mana nak masuk mangkuk? Kunci ko tinggal kt drawer opis!’

Huwaaa…I just wanna howl like mad @ at moment. Nak patah balik ke office, the road was heavily congested on both direction (cam traffic report lak)..huhu…luckily my neighboring officemate was about to go back, so I asked her help in getting the keys. Still, I missed my joggin’. Fast forward it, I got the keys and went into my room….huwarrrgggh…. water everywhere! The floor was flooded with rain. Somehow, the wind push the windows wide open and the rain poured in. damn! I closed the darn windows the noght before sebab kelkatu bermain-main berterbangan dan merayapi setiap pelusuk bilikku… my clothes rack was @ the windows so all my baju kurung were damp!

Then after cleaning everything, went down and watched TV. Then my phone screamed ‘when I’m feeling low, when it’s rain outside the door….’ Huhu very ironic..macam cipan punyer ringtone! Didn’t recognize the number so I nearly left it unanswered. Somehow tergerak hati nak angkat..

Caller: ‘Cik cipan? Saya dari SPA. Sijil SPM cik tiada dalam rekod kami. Sila fax secepat mungkin sebab perlantikan cik akan terjejas jika gagal kemukakan sijil cik.

Cipan malang: ‘Sijil saya hilang, saya dah sertakan repot polis semasa hari temuduga. Permohonan dapatkan sijil baru memakan masa. Bagaimana ya?’ (ayat mcm cipan sebab terkejut..kol 9 mlm pon org gomen kerja ke???)

Caller: ‘Kami nak mengemaskini. Bila dah dapat sila fax ya’

Cipan malang: ‘Baik baik baik’

Huwaaa… I could’ve killed myself for being soo stupid, so lazy, so unable to get myself out from procrastinating things! Woahh… I just hate myself @ that moment and still hating me now! If only I’ve done the that darn process earlier…If only…huhuu

So yesterday, off I went to Putrajaya and apply for new cert. but I’ve to wait over a month. Just now I called my former school to ask bout my unclaimed cert only to be told by someone who happened to be there by chance that it was holiday in Kedah.. How much dumb can I be!

So just wait and see what will unfold…will it be a failure to get my dream job because I can’t help from being STUPID or some miracle will happen and those people in SPA will overlook the basic indication of carelessness!

Hari yang malang for orang yang malang….

P’s: Lagi malang sebab kat Alamanda ada sales Santa Barbara bags… and I found A gorgeous sling bag! Just the right one for me…. Boleh la buat pengubat hati yang gundah gulana terluka. But as my luck would have it, gaji tak masuk lagi! Huwaaaaaa………

Just Loving it!

Have you ever ponder on these things?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on a clock called a second hand?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Fatally Addicted to...

M not a gamester. In fact I don’t the see point of sitting in front of PC or TV or anywhere with PSP in hands, ears plugged with earphones. Membesarkan bontot ade lah if m to do that. But m totally addicted to this LOCO ROCO. So cute! 1st time I tried it was when me and the gang were road tripping to Terengganu (wonder when we can do that again…never, I guess…so sad :( !!! ). Cipan Buntal introduced me to it. he brought his PSP along. I remember I was thinking like 'PSP? yeah big deal. Tak paham la apsal dah tua2 bangka leh do nak main PSP lagi...isk isk..' (m not a gadget person OK!). Hehehe... I can't read newspaper, novel or concentrating on something static whenever m in a car or anything that moves but I just had to play that game. So m the one went loco and ended ‘pengsan’ in the car. Miss those times….huwaaaa

p's: Jom la road tripping lg.....

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Went to the premiere of Confession of a Shopaholic last night @ Cineleisure Mutiara Damansara. Got the ticket form bro café yang tanpa jemu menberikan aku discount apabila aku terlupa membawa duit lebih ketika membeli loh see fun atau dry wantan mee. Dengan hanya berbekalkan meal card and senyuman konon comel, aku terus hidup dan berkembang mekar di office yang 'macam-macam ada' ini.hehe.

Confession of a Shopaholic told the story of a young, vibrant woman, Rebecca Bloomwood (Bex) who has this uncontrollable urge to shop even if that burying herself up to the eyeball with credit card debt! She’s trying to land her dream job as a fashion journalist at ALLETE Magazine but ended up at financial mag as a columnist for personal finance under the pen-name ‘Girl with Green Scarf’. She wove web of lies and kept on continuing drowning herself in debt because she just can’t ignore the calling of Prada (gimme those bags!!!), Gucci (can’t blame her, the shoes are gorgeous!), Macy. Yves Saint Laurent (I’m in heaven on earth!), Barneys, Catherine Malandrino and Marc Jacobs (the shades…oh..my heart stops beating!), just to name A FEW!. Things then begin to unravel and she needs to set aside her priorities and make up to her best friend, Suze, her hunk of a boss, Luke and her parents.

I love the way she described her feeling about shopping;

"You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better."

“Shopping and store is much nicer than man because when you are not satisfied with the dress, you can always return it back to the store 7 days later for cashmere”.

Eloquently put I should say. Hehe. Store never disappoints you, only bleed you dry.

But what really got me thinking is what her father told her when she said the RV defines her father.

“That doesn’t define me. Only you and your mother define who I am”

So true eh? People are getting too materialistic, emphasizing on worldly belonging. Status is defined by the possession of wealth. Beauty is defined by the designer clothes even if it is butt-ugly Ferragamo’s, people will still buy it. Success is defined by the ability to move within this circle and shoulder-rubbing and hobnobbing with the who’s who of the town.

This movie tries to combine the Devil Wear Prada and Legally Blonde, essentially. It may seem comical but it does have an underlying message to convey such as relationship between people, trust, loyalty, and so forth.

P/s: My sister totally needs to watch this!

Once Upon a Time : Rain

Yesterday I woke up to the sound of falling rain. Constantly I was transported back to the Kem Batalion 4 PPH. Back then, whenever it rained, me and my lil’ bro will be beggin’ ba and mak to let us ‘tolak parit’. Hehe… obviously, it was just an excuse to get out and play in the rain. After cleaning the drain for few seconds, we went and splashed ourselves in every ditch we can findand any other places where the rain pooled. Sometimes, my big bro joined us and we played football. As usual I will be the goalkeeper because I can’t tackle the ball. So I just waited patiently until the ball my bro tried to score. It was then I will plunge myself in any direction just so I can slide on the watery grass… lantak le ke bola tu nak gol ke tak. Janji boleh main hujuan. Hehe..it was such fun!!!

The most memorable rain in my life was in 1994 back in Briged Utara PGA. It was noon. Just got back from school. I was getting ready for Sekolah Agama Rakyat, which I am planning on skipping that day because I want to watch a Hindi movie. Hehe.. Cant remember what movie actually. I went inside my mom’s room to tell her (it was scary..takot siot nk mintak ponteng!). It was getting dark and windy outside. The wind kept on building and howling out there. From the window, I saw the trees were thrashing violently. Dengan hati yang berbunga2, told my mom ‘nak ribut, tak boleh p sekolah. Satgi kena panah kilat’.

Then we both went to the living room. It poured like crazy. The sound was deafening! I open the front door, the water level nearly reached the door level (the garage floor and the doorstep has like 6 inch gap). Mind you, my home was up on a hill! Then suddenly it sounded like a giant threw thousands of pebbles on the roof. My mom rushed outside then she yelled at me to come out. I flew out of my seat and went to her. It was ice!!! Pure, clear unblemished ice! It plummeted down on my house and that was causing such roaring noise! It was sooo alien to me and I was momentarily speechless. Then I grabbed the ice and began to play with them, washing my face and squeezing til they melted in my palms and putting ice into my mom’s t-shirt. Hehe…budak2 lagi mase tu OK! It was the talk of the school for weeks! But I had the greatest story coz the ice that rained around my home were bigger as I live up on the hill.. Hahaha.. so I am totally the coolest person around! Keke

Miss those times really...When we were still young and free with no worries except homeworks and basuh kasut skolah!

The Journey Pt1

Been a hectic weekend…*sigh.. Went to my ex-classmate + ex-housemate + ex-roommate + ex-sleepingmate (ade ke istilah tuh??) @ negeri Cik Siti Wan Kembang and Puteri Saadong. So many things ran thru my mind on the way there. So many things flashed back to me. One of it is that I miss the good ol’ days! Used to had this kind of journey when I was a lil’ cute girl. Err.. When I told cipan oren and cipan buntalku, diorg gelak and said the cute part they can accept but “little”, they cannot imagine! Brutal tol kedua2 cipan yang oversized tu. Haha cipan parit jangan marah saya ngutuk cipan oren ye…

Back to the story..*sigh… reminiscing the past is some kind of sweet-torture. My dad was seldom home back in the 80’s and 1990. Communists were still roaming our jungle, so he went there, guarding the border for months at a time. When he’s not on standby, he’ll take us jalan-jalan. Kelantan, Terengganu, Pahang, Perlis are the places we frequently went. Visiting relatives, stopping at interesting places along the way such as Gua Kelam, Bukit Berapit river, Tasek Bera, Sungai Woh, Cameron, Fraser, Pantai Bisikan Bayu, Penarik… so many places we went in my dad’s Nissan Bluebird. I miss that car!! Sume bersumbat, but we were happy..so friggin’ happy!

the best car ever!

My favorite back then was crossing the Banjaran Titiwangsa to get to Kelantan. Still love that place. So serene. There was one time back in late 90’s, we went back to Kelantan to see Tok Mama. Along the Jalanraya Timur-Barat, the trees were orange, yellow, and brown. It was like fall in Europe! It’s simply breathtaking! My heart still aches when I remember that moment. How I really wish to stop the time…to capture that moment forever…huwaaa….Life was sooo simple back then. If only I could turn back time….

Crossing the Titiwangsa

Actually I’m not done yet…but no mood already…

One Last Time

I LOVE My Prens!!

Ok. This the last time. M gonna promise to myself I’ll forget everything and move on. Let bygones be bygones. I think I’ve depleted my anger with all the ranting and raving in this space for quite some time now. I just want thing to go back to normal now….It’s the end of the road for all of us so let’s go back and forgive and forget...

Yeah, I know I can’t forget but I’ll try my damnest! I’m not perfect so does everybody. Mahatma Gandhi once said that "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Lagipun aku tetibe teringat lagu ni ketika tengah kusyuk memproses promo AFC and Celestial….

“Buat apa gaduh-gaduh sama kita,

Malaysia kita ini kecik aja,

Kalau semua gaduh sapa nak jaga...”

Another thing is that anger just makes us a prisoner of our own feeling. When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. So we can never really be free until we let go of the demon that constantly trying to chain us in the unbreakable bond hatred and revenge.

Ok. You don’t like the philosophy thingy. So I’ll put this into another perspective that u might relate to;

“ Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” -Oscar Wilde

Hehe…simple yet so very true eh…so its a double-edge sword la….

P/s: Aku taknak gaduh2 dah...nanti lagi la aku cepat tua...huhuhu....Jangan la bagi aku nampak tua..Nanti jatuh la saham aku yang telah sedia rendah ini..Huwaaaa

Point Of No Return (?)

Seriously…I feel like I’ve had it up here (pointing @ my throat) already. The situation is so messed up. Feel the need to get away you know. Start over again with new people, new environment. If I’m feeling this way, what ‘bout those who directly involved eh? How can ya’ all seem so all ok (outwardly lah). Hmm… this is so stupid.

People say that we can’t marry our cousins coz the genetic pool will stay stagnant, no room for new things to pool up, inbreeding and so forth. Same goes to social circle I guess. Stay too close together for quite sometimes we’ll end up being too sluggish and inert. And the important part is, we’ll start getting annoyed with each other. With each and every move we make, it’ll rile up somebody somehow. It just bugs them. Ade je yang tak kena.

Friends Should:

Aristotle once suggested that the traditional idea of friendship has three components:

1. Friends must enjoy each other's company
2. They must be useful to one another
3. They must share a common commitment to the good

So when the first starts failing, the rest of it will be tailing along sooner or later. Then suddenly, when we finally realized what went wrong, it’ll be too late to revive the lost friendship. Yes, we do go our own separate ways someday, but it shouldn’t be on bad term. After all we’ve been thru; it’s a shame to end it up like that…truly a shame lost. But what if we truly reach the point of no return??

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.” — Charles Caleb Colton

Manusia(?) Macam Bagus

Now that I’m out of the blue, I’m into the red. Red hot. Chilli hot. But not red hot chilli pepper. I’m cool but slightly affronted. Let’s put it this way. You were always nice to this guy. Always lend an ear for his problem (a very boring one I might say, but you listen coz you are after all his friend). So normally you would think that he is all good with you. Then suddenly you heard that he’s been talking behind your back about something that is totally irrelevant to him, say, ermmm… the way you pose for pictures. That is soooo nothing to do with him but you found out that he’s been talking to your other friends that you are such a slut posing like that (do note that that is an innocent picture. Nothing sultry or erotic bout it…all clothes were on and nothing was exposed…absolutely nothing). But I guess in his sick mind, that is sooo immoral kot. Macam la die tu baik sangat. Changing gurls like he changed his clothes. MACAM BAGUS!

Can you imagine what kind of friend, a MALE friend for that matter, would do that to you? Kalo perempuan ye la..kan orang suke kate pompuan ni mulut jahat… But for a guy to do that… It’s beyond my understanding… Well, I shouldn’t be surprised la kan coz this guy pernah publicly humiliated me! But it does boggle my mind to think that he is considered quite a catch for gals.. Hey gals… Seriously, what do you expect form a guy like that? Bad-mouthing people behind their back. No respect for women at all. How can a person like that is appealing to woman??? That is not a boyfriend material! Hell let alone a husband. If you thought to change him, just forget that idea and find someone who really deserves you... Buang karan jek. You don't fall in love under the impression you could change him. That's is soo wrong coz you'll end up makan hati sorg2 jek. You dont't fall in love for wrong reasons my dear and hoping to change a guy IS a wrong reason!

Thank God some of them woke up from their nightmare and move on...But some still stucked! Personally, I think he is dangerous to us gurls.. macam serangga perosak la die ni. Agak2 die dah busan, die carik perumah baru. A very easily bored parasite that 1! hehe..Kejamnye aku. But it does make sense somehow...Just think about it. Maybe that appeals to some woman. Coz to say that he is such a mouth-watering hombre, with chiseled face like a roman warrior with hot, hot, hoooot body, hell….Jangan kata jauh panggang dari api, api pon xlalu nk bakar! Buang O2 je bakar coz tulang je ade. haha..teruknya aku mengata die kan? Well serves him right! Die mengata org tak igt dunia! Things that doesnt concern him pon die nak mengata...so eye for an eye!

Oh yes.. He’s been talking bout backstabbing friend and all that but I guess it never entered into his brainless head that he did backstab me. Eh, he got brain alright but maybe it's the size of a peanut! Makes sense what...If not, he wont be doing what he did and never realize it. Haha..aint that just plain ironic. Itulah…salah org je nampak…salah sendiri yg sebesar2 alam ni leh wat2 xtahu… Cakap pandai...blajar dari pengalaman sendiri he said. Of course he did! He backstabbed people so many times. No wonder he's such an expert on that matter..haha.

Maybe he thinks it's a game or sumthin' funny..

'Hello there my pren...I want to backstab you can r??..Lepas stab kite kawan la balik ok. Yang sudah tu sudah la...aku pon xtahu pe aku pikir time tu,aku xsedar. Nanti aku mintak maaf gune email ok. Payah la nak face-to-face. Tu pasal aku mengata kat blakang or dalam e-mail je'

Seriously..he is sick! Sick in the mind and body…

Thank God I’ve nothing to do with this guy anymore. If we meet in the passing, I’ll say hello and go my way. For me there’s nothing left to say to him. It’s no surprise considering the magnitude of betrayal I’ve received from him. Better get away and make a clean cut. From now on he’s just someone I unfortunately know. Not a friend…backstabbing people aren’t friend. They are parasite..the lowest form there ever is!

It's Showtime Babe!

Today I finally got the strength to go back to my old independent self..hehe..dunno why I changed or when I changed into those pesky, clinging gal. It just made me weak and pathetic. So now it's time to move out and free myself. It's showtime!

So, first thing I’m gonna do is get a new darn hair-cut! Make it short and simple as a mark of the new me. Hail to all the independent gals out there!




I need to make a move. I need to revamp myself. I need to recapture my lost self respect… I need to go somewhere I truly belong. Which is me! I belong to me. I need not push myself harder and further just to gain approval and love from others.. The only person I need to please…the only person I can depend on….the only person who truly loves me...is myself.

Learn to be Lonely

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dream out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved
Alone...

Hmm...It is a sound advice right? Why depend on other people to make you happy? Yes..it makes sense that you are responsible for your happiness but...It is hard to live alone...So damn hard! It's in our nature to find happiness with other person, allegedly our 'other half' heh..what a joke kan? if that person is our other half why does he/she constantly hurt us?? They know that is it hurtful for us, know that we r not suppose to do that to the person we love but they did it anyway...So can you call that person your other half? Very baffling kan..

It is much worse when we are considered as just a mere obligation. now that is a degradation!!! obligation?! Can you imagine that? Love is not obligation! It is a Gift....People are getting confused now more than ever...It's all about give and take..pushing ourselves to limit to test our commitment to each other..If this phase pon xlepas test...next phase xpayah mimpi la kan...

Guess we'd better build a wall around our heart and try to live alone...hey..Won't be that bad kan...Try first and see where does that lead us to....Life sucks but still, there's nothing much can be done. Live and let live...and learn to be lonely. After all the only thing we can truly call our own is ourselves....yang lain tu sume Busyet jek!

Janji Manismu

Oh dunia ini
Penuh kepalsuan
Oh mungkinkah tiada keikhlasan
Apakah ini suatu pembalasan
Ku sedar kebesaranMu Tuhan

Aku bagai seorang kembara jalanan
Terumbang ambing di lautan gelora
Mencari kebahagiaan
Dahan untuk menumpang kasih
Mungkinkah suratan
Hidup kau selalu keseorangan

Hati membeku mengingatkan
Kata janji manismu... oh...
Ku dilambung angan-angan
Belaian kasih sayang suci darimu
Oh kejamnya

Lidah tidak bertulang
Ucapan cinta menghiris kalbu
Ku kan pergi membawa diri
Cinta di hati terkubur lagi

Tidak ku fahami
Mengapa terjadi
Peristiwa pahit mengguris hati
Jalanan hidup ini sudah tertulis
Kutempuhi dengan kesabaran
Kusedar kebesaranMu Tuhan...

Finally..i can relate to this song. Actually I love this song soo much but it had always been just a nice, emotional song to me, never really understand the underlying emotion it tried to convey. Funny..it took me nearly 20 years to fully understand the significance of this song..hehe..some people are just dim-witted hehe…stupid me!

Ice Cream & Sadness

Huwaaa.....nape aku maseh sedih??org tua2 cakap kalo sedih makan la eskim, baru terubat kesepian di hati....it'll help u thru bad break-ups, tiring arguments, bad hair day, gettin' fired by boss..all sorta things bad and depressing...think I'm in dire need of some.

Help!help!help! I'm melting here..

So somebody buy me Haagen Dasz please...??

I'm Sorry

I’m sorry of being so emotional
I’m sorry of being so possessive
I’m sorry that I cry for you
I’m sorry because I can’t live without you

I’m sorry for the tears you shed
I’m sorry for the damage I made
I’m sorry I’ve made you sick
I’m sorry I hurt you so deep

I’m sorry for giving you sleepless nights
I’m sorry for each and every fight
I’m sorry for your pain & agony
I’m sorry for the missing harmony

I’m sorry for my selfish love
I’m sorry for not caring enough
I’m sorry for my restlessness
I’m sorry for the losing grace

I’m sorry if I keep on hurting you
I’m sorry if you don't like the things I say or do
I’m sorry if with you I always put up a fight
I’m sorry I just can't do anything right

I’m sorry if I’m not too understanding
I’m sorry for all the headaches and pain I bring
I’m sorry if often it's hard for me to swallow my pride
I’m sorry if often I’m too blinded by anger to see your side

I’m sorry if I’m so complicated
I’m sorry I keep making you feel frustrated
I’m sorry I can't fight back the tears
I’m sorry if I keep you away from your peers

I’m sorry if I always complain about you not meeting my expectations
I’m sorry if sometimes I can't fight all these temptations
I’m sorry if I seem like a joke to you
I’m sorry if I don't appreciate all those sweet things you do

I’m sorry if I keep on repeating the same mistakes
I’m sorry I say stupid things and I can't find the breaks
I’m sorry I keep on hitting you when I’m mad
or ruin your day when mine's bad

I’m sorry for thinking of you so very much
I’m sorry I always miss your touch
I’m sorry of being so mad about you
I’m sorry for my every blue

I’m sorry of being so immature
I’m sorry now that can’t be cured
I’m sorry of being myself
I’m sorry that I’ve failed

I’m sorry and sorry again
I’m sorry of being insane
But believe me that I love you
Should I say sorry for that too?

What is happening...

It’s been a while….so many things happened in between. Life just past so swiftly that I barely had the time to stop and just breathe deeply. Err that is not entirely true. I did take deep breath before I went into the interview room. Gosh…it was soo frightening but I managed to keep my cool…haha…dengan nada yg bangga sekali….I really don’t wanna talk bout the interview. As far as I am concerned, I did my best and it’ll all comes down to rezeki in the end.. Don’t wanna hope too much. Life taught me quite a hard lesson on that ‘hoping-menghoping’ subject…considered myself once burn twice shy! but thank you kepada resakse pewot for your staunch support..pelaburan mase panjang nampk..keke

All around me, changes is gripping hold on all of us…could feel the air is different, the mood is different. Hmmm… but I’m not very much affected by all this. Thank god I was able to move out inch by inch and finally free myself from this situation…not entirely but far enough to breath comfortably. Nothing lasts forever. Even friendship…it will wither and die…affection can wan and grow cold. Love will wear itself out, that is, if we did not try to keep it alive. Love is not constant; it is something that we have to work on.

And how about person we care about is destroying his/her future? What should we do? Yes…we don’t know the motives behind people’s moves and we might never know but it does indicate something right? It does tell us when she/he is making a mistake. How can we not get the irritable itch to approach him/her and say something to wake up.. But what’s the use when we know they’ll never listen. Throughout my 26 years of living in this very volatile world of feelings, I learned that, never try to change people, never try to interfere, never even dream of doing so unless I am 100% sure I am welcome to do that. Coz it can backfire….we want to do good but it might turn out that we are culprit that caused everything or maybe we’ll just get burned! So buzz off from danger! Busan la memikirkan ni semua….try to think for other when they themselves is unmindful of their problem. Baek kite tgk wayang kan cipan-oren-yg-suke-bace-blog-aku yang psycho ni…..